I want to share our family’s journey into adoption — the joys, challenges, and lessons we’ve learned along the way. From the early days of building trust with our daughter to the incredible support I’ve received from my colleagues at Riverside, this experience has been life-changing in ways I never expected. Whether you’re considering adoption yourself or simply interested in understanding what the journey can look like, I hope our story offers honesty, encouragement, and a bit of inspiration.

Our daughter joined our family after spending the first chapter of her life with her foster carers and her birth father at a parent child fostering placement. As a toddler, she was described as gentle, polite, and well-mannered. But when she came home to us, she entered a world that, though safe, was unfamiliar. She experienced a whirlwind of emotions — grief, guilt, and confusion — as she tried to understand why she was no longer with her foster family. That deep sense of loss and uncertainty began to shape her behaviour in subtle but powerful ways.

Around this time, I also benefited from Riverside’s generous six-week paternity leave for adoption. That uninterrupted period was invaluable. It gave me the chance to be fully present, to establish nurturing routines, and to build attachment during those fragile early days. The adoption process requires not just love, but availability — and those six weeks provided space to focus completely on my daughter, learning her cues and helping her feel safe in our home.

The early weeks were emotionally draining and far more complex than we had anticipated, filled with sleepless nights and endless patience. She initially found it hard to trust the care we offered, even when it mirrored what she had known. Beloved foods were suddenly rejected, and she stayed on constant alert — watching, listening, and bracing herself for change. Even short car rides were distressing and would often end in tears. When she fell or hurt herself, she would self-soothe rather than come to us for comfort, a quiet but powerful sign of how much trust still needed to be built.

Throughout this period, I was incredibly fortunate to have the full support of my workplace, Riverside. The early stages of adoption are demanding — emotionally, practically, and timewise — and being able to draw on flexible working arrangements made a tremendous difference. As adopters, we are required to attend regular training sessions and supervision meetings with our social worker, and I was able to do this without having to use up all my annual leave. Working in a hybrid environment meant I could balance my professional responsibilities with family needs, attend virtual meetings when necessary, and still be available for home visits or key appointments.

My line managers were not only understanding but proactive in their support. They often took the time to check in, explore policies around adoption leave, and ensure I had the flexibility needed to settle my daughter into her new home. Their openness and genuine interest helped create a sense of stability when life at home often felt unpredictable. Riverside’s culture of empathy and trust gave me the confidence to be present for both my daughter and my work.

Those first months were a learning curve for all of us. We faced challenges that many adoptive families will recognise — trauma-based behaviours, defiance, and difficulties with attachment. Building trust wasn’t something that happened instantly; it required time, predictability, and a consistent emotional presence. Some days, progress was measured not by milestones but by moments — a shared smile, a calm meal, or a quiet story before bed.

Reading became one of our most grounding rituals. Early mornings and bedtime stories offered a sense of calm, and she loved those moments of closeness. Time outside helped too; she enjoyed walking on the grass, listening to birds, spotting aeroplanes, and soaking up the evening sun. I often found myself working slightly earlier or later to create the time to slow down with her during the day. Having that flexibility from Riverside made it possible to prioritise her emotional security when she needed it most.

My colleagues contributed in meaningful ways too. A colleague with fostering experience, regularly checked in to ask how we were doing and shared practical insights about managing tantrums and adjusting expectations. His empathy and genuine understanding were a lifeline during moments of doubt. Equally, my managers’ ongoing care — asking how things were going and offering small adjustments when needed — reminded me that this support wasn’t just procedural; it was personal.

As the months unfolded, our daughter’s confidence began to bloom. Outings became easier; she started climbing into her stroller on her own and even took naps during trips. Playtime transformed from cautious observation to uninhibited curiosity. She began enjoying soft play sessions, joining in at rhyme time, and engaging happily with friends and family.

Watching those changes — from guarded caution to genuine joy — has been profoundly moving. Each morning when she wakes up, she comes to us for cuddles and kisses, clear signs of the trust that has taken root. She now follows simple instructions, helps clear the table after meals, and takes pride in small tasks. These everyday moments are what adoption is truly made of — connection, patience, and resilience.

Looking back, I’m deeply grateful for the support Riverside has shown throughout this journey. The understanding, flexibility, and compassion extended by my colleagues and managers allowed me to put my family’s needs first without compromising my work. Adoption is a journey of healing for both parent and child, and it takes a community — both personal and professional — to make it possible. Every act of kindness, big or small, has contributed to helping our family find its rhythm, and for that, I couldn’t be more thankful.